Best jokes ever

A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'
Vote: has 65.14 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, kids, money
Q: What's long and black and smells like shit? A: The welfare line.
Vote: has 65.13 % from 135 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Greek, The bankers are Swiss. In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Greek.
Vote: has 65.09 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, heaven, money, racist
Q: How do you make your wife scream while having sex? A: Call her and tell her.
Vote: has 65.09 % from 545 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: phone, sex, wife
The horrible moment when there's a really cute girls on the bus, but you're too shy to start masturbating in front of everyone...
Vote: has 65.08 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Once upon time, there were three friends playing on a beach. One kid's parents were good business people. The second kid lives in a good family where he is taught to respect his elders. The third kid was a poor redneck with an abusive father. Anyways, they were playing on the beach when a helicopter crashed down into the water. They saw a man drowning and all raced to save him. As they pulled the man to shore they realized it was Obama. The president then said, "Thank you kids for saving me! I'll give you each one wish!" The first kid said he wanted a helicopter. The second kid wished for some money. And the redneck asked for a wheel chair. Obama, concerned, asked why the poor boy wouldn't want some money for his family. The kid replied, "Cause when pap finds out what I've done, I ain't gonna be walking for a pretty long time."
Vote: has 65.08 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, old people, political, racist
Three guys are on a plane, ones black, ones white, and ones Mexican. The pilot says: "there's to much weight you all need to throw something off the plane." The black guy throws his Jordan's and says: "we have to many of these in our country" The Mexican throws off his lawn mower and says: "we have to many of these in our country". The white guys throws the Mexican and says: "we have to many of these in our country"
Vote: has 65.08 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, mexican, racist, white people
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
Vote: has 65.02 % from 5 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sport
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The last thing that you see before you die, is Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death