If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
When Chuck Norris goes out to survive in the Wilderness, the Wilderness ends up trying to survive from him.
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.
Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
Patient: "I am sorry to call you to my house so far away from your chamber at this time of night." Doctor: "Don’t worry. I have another patient near here. So I can Kill two birds with one stone."
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.