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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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When Chuck Norris goes out to survive in the Wilderness, the Wilderness ends up trying to survive from him.
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Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
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Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.
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Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
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When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
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Patient: "I am sorry to call you to my house so far away from your chamber at this time of night." Doctor: "Don’t worry. I have another patient near here. So I can Kill two birds with one stone."
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
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