Yo mamas so fat when she farted she caused global warming!
There were three women sitting at a bar, talking about how loose they were.
One woman said that her husband could fit his arm in up to his elbow.
The next woman said her man could fit his leg in up to his knee.
The last woman just slid over the bar stool.
One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her.
Ms. Evans was talking about evolution.
Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn't believe in God.
Then Johnny raised his hand and said, "But I thought God created mankind?"
Ms. Evans then replied, "Well can you see God?"
"No."
"Hear God?"
"No."
"Feel God?"
"No."
This went on for quite a while.
"Well then God doesn't exist."
Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, "Can you see Ms. Evan's brain. No, so that must not exist."
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What did the two tampons say to eachother?
Nothing , because they were both stuck up bitches.
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage.
They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
A mother without any pant was playing with her son.
The boy pointing to her mother's pussy asked: "Mammy, what is that dark wooly between your feet?
Mother: "My sweet that is a brush."
Son: "Where is it's bundle?"
Mother: "In your daddy's pant."
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A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?”
His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”
The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Opportunity.
Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
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