Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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How do you tell if a black girls pregnant?
Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school.
His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?"
Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.
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Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Opportunity.
Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
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Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot?
Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
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God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.
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