There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She'd say "Knock knock." We'd say "Who's there?". Then she'd say "I can't remember" and start to cry.
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
I'll be honest. I did not graduate at the top of my class. In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which side to spit
hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".
Got home from the pub at 3'o clock this morning. The wife was waiting at the door with a rolling pin. I said to her, "what are you doing..baking..at this time of the night" ?
Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? A: He has got no beef.
Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.