Best jokes ever

Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: kids, student, teacher, time
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A: With a knife.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? A: After a night of visiting children, they both have empty sacks.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don't know,some dumb bitch asking if the coast is clear."
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has 63.26 % from 365 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex? A: Lefty.
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has 63.26 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, dinosaur
What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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has 63.26 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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has 63.26 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, game, life
Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
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has 63.26 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.” The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!” “Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.” “Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!” “Right I’ll give you three choices… 1 You come fishing with me and the dog… 2 You give me a BLOW JOB…. 3 or you take it up the ass!” The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!” “Wife I’ve given you three options.. You’ll HAVE to do one of them! I’m going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!” The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, “Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?” The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, “O.K. I’ll give you a blow job!” “Great!” He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, “Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting… It tastes all shitty!” “Yes!” says her husband “The dog didn’t want to go fishing either.”
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has 63.26 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, fish, husband, wife
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