According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow? Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars. But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
A Grandmother was checking out her grand-daughters grasp of colours and tested her regularly. She would ask her and the grand-daughter would always get the colour right. One day as we were heading to the doctors she turned to her Grandma and said "Don’t you think it’s time you tried to figure some of these out for yourself?"
Yo mamas so ugly when Bob the builder saw her he said "Oh cannot fix that."
A teacher:"John, I hope I won't see you're cheating." John:"Me either."