Do you know why bankers are good lovers?
They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal. 
Yo' Mama is so poor, she only goes to the grocery store for free samples.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she does a drive-by from the bus.
Yo' Mama is like a bus: she's big, she stinks, and it's only a dollar to ride.
Q: What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse.
One says to the other, "I'll start at the head, you start at the feet."
They start to eat, and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, "Hey, how's it going?"
The other replies, "I'm having a ball!"
Getting mad, the one at the head yells, "Dammit, slow down, you're eating too fast!"
Vote:
My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry.
So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
Vote:
Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.
Vote:
What goes black white black white...?
A penguin rolling down a hill!
What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin who pushed him!
A: What does "IDK" mean?
B: I don't know.
A: Ugh! Nobody does!