Yo momma so poor...
I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."
"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."
A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey.
He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses.
The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks: 'Can your dog perform other tricks?'.
'But of course', the man answers, 'he can even gratify a woman'.
Anxious to know more the girl leads the man and the dog into a little room above the bar.
She undresses and full of expectation she lies down on the bed.
The dog looks at her and does nothing, and the man then shouts to the dog, 'OK.
Just ONE more time, let me show you how it's done".
What goes black white black white...?
A penguin rolling down a hill!
What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin who pushed him!
My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry.
So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
Vote:
Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.
Vote:
A: What does "IDK" mean?
B: I don't know.
A: Ugh! Nobody does!
Did you hear about the homosexual letter?
Only came in male boxes.
Knock Knock.
Who's there!
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don't let me in!
Vote:
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle.
For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard.
Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river.
The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle.
"Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks.
"When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied.
"Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe.
"Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."