When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap. When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
Yo mama is so fat Donald Trump used her as the wall.
A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.
Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that..
Chuck Norris has never won a single fight. Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
My mother-in- law is so cross-eyed, that when she cries the tears roll down her back!
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.