Best jokes ever

A couple of years ago the english national team was about to start training in preparation for an important qualifying match when the manager at the time, Sven-Goran Eriksson, discovered a big turd in one of the penalty areas on the practice pitch. Ok boys, he said, who's shit on the ground? Emile Heskey replied: "Me coach, but I'm good in the air!"
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: soccer, sport
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath". The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs."
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
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has 63.21 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
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has 63.21 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: flirt, gym, men
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
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has 63.21 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, sex
One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts. Before the show, she asks the audience: "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" and 3 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?" and 1 person, an old man raises his hand. So she goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" and he said "Oh…it was great! Never had any like it before!" and she asked "Really? So the ghost was good?" and the old man said "Ghost? I thought you said goat!"
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has 63.19 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex
Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
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has 63.19 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
Yo' Mama is so nasty, it sounds like Velcro when she takes her panties off.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”. “Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life
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