Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder: what the hell was I thinking?
‘Eighty per cent of married men cheat in America.
The rest cheat in Europe.’
Jackie Mason
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
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Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
A man and woman were on their first date.
The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer."
The man looked away and turned red.
"What's wrong?" asked the woman.
"I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team.
"I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team."
"I blame the players," said the
second fan. "If they made more of
an effort, we'd score some points."
"I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle,
I'd be supporting a decent team."
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There was three girls and they all had boyfriends and separate rooms.
The mom walked by all the rooms.
The first room she hears laughing, the second room she heard screaming and the third was totally quiet.
The mom was suspicious, so she asked the third girl why was she so quiet she replied, "My boyfriend said not to talk with my mouth full."
Q: What did one math book say to the other?
A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men?
A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
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