Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, simply bathing is part of her weight loss program.
Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover? A: Your mouse pad.
Gilding the lily is a job seeker's birthright. Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed: - to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying. - to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin. - to be a Nobel Prize winner. - to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time. - he was fired "on accident."
In France, Chuck Norris accidentally won Tour de France by exercise bike.
huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
What do you call two niggers in a sleeping bag? Twix...
If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen? The first one would say its causing global warming. The second one would say its racist. The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?" The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?" The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."