Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Vote:
I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.
A kindergarten teacher spent a few minutes each morning teaching a new word to her class.
She would tell the class the word and its meaning, then ask them to come up with a few sentences that included the word for the day.
One day, the teacher said that the word for the day was "frugal."
She explained that frugal had to do with saving, and a frugal person is one who saves.
She then asked the class to come up with a sentence for the word.
The class seemed kind of stumped, and sat there in silence for a few seconds until one little girl raised her hand.
Instead of just a sentence, she came up with a little story:
"There once was a princess who was stuck in a tall tower.
There was a spell on all of the doors, so she couldn’t get out.
One day, she heard a young prince who was walking by and singing.
The princess called out of the tower, 'Frugal me! Frugal me!'
So, the prince frugaled her and they lived happily ever after."
Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide?
He got himself into a real stew.
Vote:
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.?
A: Lazy.
Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
Vote:
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day.
That seems like a strange place to put a call center.
Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game?
A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.
Vote:
Q:Why is a doctor always calm.
A: Because it has a lot of patients.
Two politician are having lunch together, all of a sudden one stood up and shouted, "Your lying."
The other replied, "I know but just hear me out."