Earth is not spinning around the sun. The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
Chuck Norris doesn't make typos. Words simply stutter in his presence.
A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman. Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
When everyone else can't, Chuck Norris CAN.