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Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
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Jurrasic Park is a second name for Chuck Norris' backyard.
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Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win? A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling. He already knows the outcome.
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Chuck Norris can hit a grand slam with no one on base.
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Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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