Q: Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out? A: He was already taking out a tooth.
Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
Yo Momma is so fat… when she took her shirt off at the strip club,everyone thought she was Jabba The Hut from Star Wars.
When you insult Chuck Norris, the next thing you are going to see is a bunch of halos.
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention.
When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
An old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoon. They were in bed getting ready to have sex for the first time and the old woman said, "I should tell you I have acute angina." The old man says, "I hope so. You sure don't have cute tits."
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.