Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, elf, family, food
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!"
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, doctor
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death