A lady buys some new furniture at Ikea. She reads the instuctions and builds the wardrobe. As soon as it"s built she a bus passes by and the wardrobe falls into pieces. The lady tries again and 5 minutes later another bus passes by and the wardrobe falls into pieces. The lady is furious and calls Ikea. Ikea tell her that they will send a worker to build it. When the worker arrives he builds the wardrobe and says: "Ok, I"m going to my next client." To which the lady says: "NO! Wait! You"ll see, as soon as a bus comes by it will dismantle itself..." The man agrees to stay to wait for the bus. After a while the man says that he better get in the wardrobe to see where the problem is when the bus passes by, to which the lady agrees. 10 minutes later the husband arrives and say"s: "Ahh lovely honey you bought us a new wardrobe..." He opens it up and say"s: "SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" To which the worker replies: "I"m waiting for the bus!"
Yo mama so poor, when I ring the door bell, she yells: DING DONG!
Chuck Norris had never escape from jail. Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.
A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is anything OK?"
How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...
Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.
Q: Why did Hitler hate golf? A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.