How do you starve a black person?
Put their food stamps under a job application.
As he drove along the highway, a guy kept seeing billboards with beautiful, tanned people and the words: Visit the Garden of Hedon.
His curiosity got the best of him and he turned off the road at the entrance to the place a few miles down the road.
He went inside a building marked "Registration" and saw an attractive woman sitting at a desk.
"Exactly what do you do here?" he asked.
"It's quite simple," said the receptionist.
"This is a nudist camp. We take off all our clothes and commune with nature."
"Cool," said the guy, "count me in!"
So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off.
As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays."
A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing: "Beware of Gays."
He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground.
He bent over to read the plaque and it said, "Sorry, you've had two warnings!"
Q: Why was the dirty old man fired from the poultry shop?
A: He couldn't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.
Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
You so ugly, when Yo Momma drops you off at school, she gets a ticket for littering.
I was going to tell a chinese joke, but it's just wong.
Q: What did the nut say to the bolt?
A: Screw me.
TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon?
Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night.
This guy comes back from the toilet, when a women says to him, "Hey, you have left your GARAGE door open"!"
As the man is zipping his fly up, he says with a big smile,"Did you see my big black hummer?"
The woman replies, "Nope just a MINI COOPER with two flat tires."
Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common?
A: They're both become useless when you open windows.