Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out.
Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences.
Then hang up.
Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
Vote:
How much money did the bronco have?
Only a buck!
A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!
Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?
A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
Vote:
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets?
Shoot the lawyer twice.
hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".
Vote:
A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary.
A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog.
The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, “Hippocrates, come!”
Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff.
Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones.
He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton.
The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts.
The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, “Sliderule, come!”
Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff.
The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal.
The architect patted his dog and gave him a cookie.
The attorney watched the other two dogs, and called “Bullshit, come!”
Bullshit entered and was told to do his stuff.
Bullshit immediately sodomised the other two dogs, stole their cookies, auctioned the Taj Mahal replica to the other club members for his fee, and went outside to play golf.