Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
What a cannibal say to its victim? Nice to meat you.
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Yo mama so ugly it caused Godzilla to go back to the ocean.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup." Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
Justin Bieber has Chuck Norris fever!
Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.