Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain?
A: A widower.
The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class?
A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
What a cannibal say to its victim? Nice to meat you.
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Yo mama so ugly it caused Godzilla to go back to the ocean.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup."
Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
Justin Bieber has Chuck Norris fever!
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Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
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