Best jokes ever

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
Vote: has 65.88 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with. JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?" BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me." JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father." BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!" JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?" BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto." JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?" BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
Vote: has 65.88 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby, dinosaur
Q: Why is it good to have a Jewish car? A: It can stop on a dime, and pick it up for you too!
Vote: has 65.86 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, jewish, life
Johnny asked his mom how to deal with a girl at school who liked him a lot. His mom told him to find out how she really feels. Johnny asked how to do this and his mom told him to beat around the bush. Johnny then said, "what, just like you and dad do??"
Vote: has 65.84 % from 125 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny
Once upon time, there were three friends playing on a beach. One kid's parents were good business people. The second kid lives in a good family where he is taught to respect his elders. The third kid was a poor redneck with an abusive father. Anyways, they were playing on the beach when a helicopter crashed down into the water. They saw a man drowning and all raced to save him. As they pulled the man to shore they realized it was Obama. The president then said, "Thank you kids for saving me! I'll give you each one wish!" The first kid said he wanted a helicopter. The second kid wished for some money. And the redneck asked for a wheel chair. Obama, concerned, asked why the poor boy wouldn't want some money for his family. The kid replied, "Cause when pap finds out what I've done, I ain't gonna be walking for a pretty long time."
Vote: has 65.83 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, kids, old people, political, racist
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
Vote: has 65.83 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math
"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
Vote: has 65.83 % from 102 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math
What did the black kid get for Christmas? YOUR BIKE!
Vote: has 65.81 % from 221 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, racist
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, food
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: IT


<<<586587588589
More jokes →
Page 586 of 1380.