Man goes to the doctors and sayes "Doctor, I cant stop my hands from shaking !" Doctor replies "Do you drink much ?" Man says "no, I spill most of it !"
I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but I've never been there.
Yo' Mama is so fat, yo' daddy is still climbing back off.
Sorry, I'm late. I was trying to think of ways to get out of this.
I always arrive late to work, but I make up for it by leaving early.
Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out. Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes "Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane 'saving anothers life'. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom ..." "Oh no' Edna replies, that's where I put him to dry !"
Yo' Mama is so fat, every time you smack her butt, you can ride the waves.
Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle? A: Trying to put batteries in it.
A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.