Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
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The Tower of Pisa was in Chuck Norris' way.
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
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The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
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Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
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Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
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