Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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Chuck Norris can rotate text in MS Paint.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.
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Once Chuck Norris went back in time and kicked a ball.
When it landed it wiped out the dinosaurs.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
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It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
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Chuck Norris dropped an apple once, and gravity was born.
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Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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