Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas.
They made a deal.
Chuck now owns the shop.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul.
Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
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The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
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A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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