Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
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Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
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Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris always knows where x is.
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Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
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You know "The Matrix" that was Chuck Norris' very first dream.
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