Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar.
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Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs.
This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
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R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
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Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
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