Best jokes ever

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: funeral, sport, wife
Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: She will "let it go let it go".
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life, music
A kindergarten teacher spent a few minutes each morning teaching a new word to her class. She would tell the class the word and its meaning, then ask them to come up with a few sentences that included the word for the day. One day, the teacher said that the word for the day was "frugal." She explained that frugal had to do with saving, and a frugal person is one who saves. She then asked the class to come up with a sentence for the word. The class seemed kind of stumped, and sat there in silence for a few seconds until one little girl raised her hand. Instead of just a sentence, she came up with a little story: "There once was a princess who was stuck in a tall tower. There was a spell on all of the doors, so she couldn’t get out. One day, she heard a young prince who was walking by and singing. The princess called out of the tower, 'Frugal me! Frugal me!' So, the prince frugaled her and they lived happily ever after."
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: money, music, teacher
Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot. Everyone can catch cold.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed? A: She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid
I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game. This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball". So I adjusted my stance and took another swing. Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball." So I stepped back a little more and swung. This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about! The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, game, golf, mean, time
PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?" Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: computer, internet, sport, student, teacher
Two new deer hunters decided to separate to increases their chances. "What if we get lost?" says one of them. "Fire three shots up in the air, every hour on the hour," says the other. "I saw it on TV." Sure enough, one of the hunters gets lost, so he fires three shots up into the air every hour on the hour. The next day the other hunter finds his friend with the help of the Forest Ranger. "Did you do what I said?" asked the hunter. "Yes, I fired three shots up into the air every hour on the hour, until I ran out of arrows."
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: friendship, hunting, time
Yo mama so ugly when she auditioned for a horror movie they sent her to a professional!
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, work, Yo mama
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