Why do men want to vote for a female President?
Because we'd only have to pay her half as much. 
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she walked past the toilet, it flushed itself.
Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: What is a blondes' reaction to hearing "drinks are on the house".
A: Where's the stairs.
Yo mama so ugly that she died of fright when she looked in the mirror.
Yo momma so fat, her patronus is a cake.
Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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Yo mama so ugly Lady Liberty blew her torch out so she wouldn't have to see her.
In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
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A black guys is walking through the woods, he starts to hear a sounds.
It goes ching chong wu.
So he starts to walk to wear he heard the sound.
Soon enough he comes across a Chinese guy and a river.
The black guy ask was that noise.
The Chinese guy say, every time I throw a quarter in this river it tells me a name of an old relative.
See watch, Chinese guy throws a quarter, ching chong chun.
The black guy says let me try.
He throws a quarter in and the river says, chimpanzee.
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