Why do men want to vote for a female President?
Because we'd only have to pay her half as much. 
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she walked past the toilet, it flushed itself.
Yo' Mama is so fat, every time you smack her butt, you can ride the waves.
Yo mama so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she plays like this New York, Chicago, New Orleans, L.A.
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
Vote:
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
Vote:
Yo mama so ugly Lady Liberty blew her torch out so she wouldn't have to see her.
How much money did the bronco have?
Only a buck!
A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!