Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
One day a black white and Asian got arrested but the cop said if u can say green pink and yellow in a sentence, then u won't go to jail. The black didn't know what to say so he went to jail. The white said "well white guys are pink....." but the cop said wrong order so he went to jail. So the Asian guy said "well the phone go Green green so i pink up the phone and say yellow"
Doctor to woman: "What is the matter about your husband?" Woman: "He is worrying about MONEY." Doctor: "I think I can relieve him of that."
How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb? It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow? Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
A male driver gets stopped by police, and is asked: "Have you been drinking?" The man replies: "Okay, yes, I have... how did you know officer? Was I swerving across the road, or speeding?" "No sir," replied the policeman, "...nothing else can explain that fat ugly woman sitting next to you."
Q: What do you call a family full of cancer patients? A: Jason Voorhees' relatives.
Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A: The rest are hunting peckers.