Man goes to the doctors and sayes "Doctor, I cant stop my hands from shaking !" Doctor replies "Do you drink much ?" Man says "no, I spill most of it !"
A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!
Yo' Mama is so fat, yo' daddy is still climbing back off.
Yo' Mama is so fat, every time you smack her butt, you can ride the waves.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
Yo' Mama is so old, her teeth are like stars: they come out at night.
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
Q: Why do women pierce their bellybutton? A: Place to hang their air freshener.
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.