Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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A guy shows up late for work.
The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!"
he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis.
The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?"
And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
What’s the difference between a barmaid in the evening and a barmaid at night?
A barmaid in the evening is fair and buxom.
A barmaid at night is bare and...
Two friends talk:
"Hi, what are you doing?"
"Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card."
"Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?"
"No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
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Q: What happens when four mexican guys are standing in quick sand?
A: Quatro Sinko.
Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?
A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
Yo mama so old she ran track with the dinosaurs.
"Life is like a box of chocolates."
Not all the black ones can be trusted.
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