Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
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Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
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Yo mama so old, she walked into a museum and found her ex.
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Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a dartboard?
A: Yo' Mama's had more pricks.
Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
A: HIGH-Definition.
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Q: What did the letter O said to the letter Q?
A: Dude, your dick is hanging out.
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NOTE: This joke is only for those who recently had a brain transplant.
DO NOT read ahead unless you don't mind being offended.
You're still reading this, aren't you, asshole?
Q: Why don't women wear watches?
A: There's a clock on the stove!