You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
He opens the door then turns the handle.
A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked. "First I’d have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged. The woman took a deep breath. "He’s very bright and quick-witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well…" "Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It’s YOUR child!"
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
Two skunks were being chased by a bear. As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?" "Let us spray!" replied the other.
Q: What does Frosty's wife put on her face at night? A: Cold cream!
An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed.