Q: What did one vegan say to the other vegan?
A: We have to stop meating like this.
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Male walks into a bar with a lump of concrete under his arm he says "I'll have a pint of beer and one for the road ".
There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
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Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: Bigfoot, because they don't exist.
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I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation.
Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
An old man was accounting manager in a company.
Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back.
After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died.
After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
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What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield?
His Butt!
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Q: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
A: Lost.
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A farmer brought his daughter a little pot-belly pet pig.
She called it "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty.
"Tell me," asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?"
"That’s easy," she replied, "Ballpoint is just his pen name."
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.