"Hi Liz! How's the big love of yours, James?"
"It's over!"
"Over? Why, what happened?"
"We got married..."
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10, 1 to change the bulb and 9 to share the experience.
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What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear?
He had his first taste of Christianity!
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Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"
The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."
The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
Redbull doesn't give you wings.
Lat pulldowns do.
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant?
A: She sneezes.
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Q: What did one vegan say to the other vegan?
A: We have to stop meating like this.
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Male walks into a bar with a lump of concrete under his arm he says "I'll have a pint of beer and one for the road ".
There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
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