Chuck Norris can power solar panels.
At Night.
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Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
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Why was the picture sent to jail?
It was framed.
Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with.
JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me."
JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father."
BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!"
JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?"
BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto."
JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The girl behind the counter says, “What size?”
He says, “I don’t know.”
She hold up a finger and says, “That big?”
He says, “Bigger.”
She holds up three fingers and says, “That big?”
He says, “Smaller?”
She holds up two fingers and he says, “That’s it.”
She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”
I would kick you straight in the vagina...
If I wasn't afraid of losing my shoe.
Q: Why was the black baby crying?
A: He had diarrhea so he thought he was melting
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What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes?
She sticks it in the microwave.
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.
Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
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