Chuck Norris dosent swim, water just likes him.
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Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
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Q: How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10, 1 to change the bulb and 9 to share the experience.
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What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear?
He had his first taste of Christianity!
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought the international dateline was a global dating service.
"Hi Liz! How's the big love of yours, James?"
"It's over!"
"Over? Why, what happened?"
"We got married..."
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.
Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden?
Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
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Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant?
A: She sneezes.
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