What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
Patient: "May I have a glass of water, doctor." Doctor: "Are you thirsty?" Patient: "No… I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks."
Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
Yo momma is so fat that she uses the Great Wall of China wall as a belt.
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?” said the officer. “I’m going to a lecture.” the man said. “And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?” the cop asked. “My wife.” said the man.
Yesterday I lost my pen. Today I saw it in my girlfriend's hand When I told her: "My PEN IS in your hand." She began to laugh. I don'nt why...
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
Yo mama so dumb she used old spice body wash to cook.
Yo' Mama is so fat, yo' daddy only sees the other side of her every 4 years.
How do you get four old ladies to shout "F*ck"? Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"