Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? A: Curls.
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
Your momma is so fat that her measurements are 26-34-28, and her other arm is just as big!
Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours? A: Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides.
On the first day of the deer hunting season, a hunter fell out of a deer stand and broke both his legs. "Why couldn't this happen on my last day of hunting?!" the hunter cried to the doctor. "It did," the doctor replied.
Q: What’s the definition of a pessimist? A: A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me . . . they’re cramming for their final exam.”