Best jokes ever

A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, wife
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?” said the officer. “I’m going to a lecture.” the man said. “And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?” the cop asked. “My wife.” said the man.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: cop
Yo mama is so dark that that she can leave fingerprints on carbon.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
A Shark alarm at Sydney’s Bondi Beach sent everyone rushing from the water –except for three young boys who didn’'t hear the siren. Onlookers were horrified to see a dorsel fin moving fast towards them. Suddenly, a tall bloke took a deep breath, dived into the surf, swam past the shark, and scooped up two of the boys, swiftly bringing them to the shore and safety. He then took another deep breath and swam out again, snatching the third boy before rapidly approaching, before the monster could attack. Then got him back to the beach in one piece. The heroic bloke then put a knife between his clenched teeth, swam out to the shark, and killed it in a furious battle. As he staggered out from the surf, bleeding and battered, a journalist raced up to him and said, “That was the most heroic thing I’'ve ever witnessed mate. This will appear on the front page of tomorrow’s newspaper: “Aussie hero saves three boys from killer shark!” “Thanks.” Smiles the fella, “but I'’m not an Aussie. I'’m a British backpacker.” “No worries,” said the journalist with a frown, “it'’ll still be front-page news.” The next day, the newspaper’s headline screamed, “Pommy bastard kills boy'’s pet fish!”
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Yo' Mama is so fat, yo' daddy only sees the other side of her every 4 years.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?" Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?" Dan says, "OOOOH WOW! Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men
Yo momma so old... She left her purse on Noah's Ark.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Yo momma is so fat that she uses the Great Wall of China wall as a belt.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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