Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
Q: Why did the students study in the airplane? A: Because they wanted higher grades.
Yo mama so dumb that when she looked in a mirror she yelled stop copying me.
Yo Momma so poor I stepped in her house and I was in the backyard.
A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom "You know what?" says the 5 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing." The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says, "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?" "Ok" the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Shit mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Fruit Loops." (WHACK...she spanks him) He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know mum, but it won't be fucking Fruit Loops."
What did the black epileptic have written on his t-shirt? "Help I'm not break dancing"
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse? A: An Arab mechanic.
Q: Did you hear about the gay truckers? A: They exchanged loads.