Best jokes ever

A Shark alarm at Sydney’s Bondi Beach sent everyone rushing from the water –except for three young boys who didn’'t hear the siren. Onlookers were horrified to see a dorsel fin moving fast towards them. Suddenly, a tall bloke took a deep breath, dived into the surf, swam past the shark, and scooped up two of the boys, swiftly bringing them to the shore and safety. He then took another deep breath and swam out again, snatching the third boy before rapidly approaching, before the monster could attack. Then got him back to the beach in one piece. The heroic bloke then put a knife between his clenched teeth, swam out to the shark, and killed it in a furious battle. As he staggered out from the surf, bleeding and battered, a journalist raced up to him and said, “That was the most heroic thing I’'ve ever witnessed mate. This will appear on the front page of tomorrow’s newspaper: “Aussie hero saves three boys from killer shark!” “Thanks.” Smiles the fella, “but I'’m not an Aussie. I'’m a British backpacker.” “No worries,” said the journalist with a frown, “it'’ll still be front-page news.” The next day, the newspaper’s headline screamed, “Pommy bastard kills boy'’s pet fish!”
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
Yo mamma is like a piece of wood, flat and easy to nail.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so fat, yo' daddy only sees the other side of her every 4 years.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?" Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?" Dan says, "OOOOH WOW! Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men
Yo momma so old... She left her purse on Noah's Ark.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, "What do you have in the bag?" The blonde replies: "I have chickens!" The man thinks for a moment and says, "If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?" The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, "Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde
I've got a new anorexic girlfriend. Its not going too well though. I'm just seeing less and less of her ...
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: women
Yo Mama so old... She was once a waitress at the last supper.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit? A: Curly hare.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
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