Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way? Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.
In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
The reason Waldo hides is because he saw Chuck Norris looking for him.
Chuck Norris cleans his teeth with a dentists drill.
Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk? An udder failure.
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!