What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
Q: What are the three rings of marriage? A: The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.
Doctor: You have a disease, but we can treat it. Patient: What's the Cure? Doctor: It's an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but let's try to stay focused...
Mom! I'm a 3D printer! Oh come on, Tommy, close the door when you poop.
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy. The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl. A few seconds later the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?" "Sure," said the little boy. The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said. "Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Q: What travels at 200km's a hour? A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.
Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
Q: Why was the black baby crying? A: He had diarrhea so he thought he was melting