Wanna party with me like you just don't care?
Put your hand up 45° in the air!
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.
Vote:
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu.
No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
Vote:
Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?"
Me: "Mom."
Chuck Norris is the reason Pluto is no longer a planet.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
Q: Wanna know the biggest lie my dad ever told me?
A: I'll be back.
Vote:
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV, it's a microwave!"
On a crowded bus, an old lady noticed that a man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?" she asked.
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."