Best jokes ever

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, ugly, work
What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom "You know what?" says the 5 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing." The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says, "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?" "Ok" the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Shit mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Fruit Loops." (WHACK...she spanks him) He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know mum, but it won't be fucking Fruit Loops."
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: age, food, kids
Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
"Life is like a box of chocolates." Not all the black ones can be trusted.
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has 60.53 % from 277 votes. More jokes about: black people
Worst way to ask for anal: "Aww come on...I bet my dick is tiny compared to some of the shits you've taken!"
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has 60.51 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: sex
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
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has 60.47 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, love, mean, poems
Why do men like having sex with the lights on? It makes it easier to put a name to the face.
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has 60.41 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why do black people only have nightmares? We killed the only one with a dream.
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has 60.41 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: racist
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy. The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl. A few seconds later the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?" "Sure," said the little boy. The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said. "Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
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has 60.35 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
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