Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?"
Me: "Mom."
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Chuck Norris is the reason Pluto is no longer a planet.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
Q: Wanna know the biggest lie my dad ever told me?
A: I'll be back.
Vote:
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
Vote:
Yo mama is so stupid that she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.
Yo mama's so ugly that slender-man ran from her.
She's also the reason why slender-man doesn't have eyes.
A married couple has invoked the ghosts, after 15 minutes of invoking has appeared only the face of the grandmother of the man.
The married couple has asked the grandmother together: "What would you like to tell us dear granny? "
The granny has said: "I am looking forward to seeing you soon. Have a nice day!"
Yo mama so fat she uses a highway for a slide.