Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Mary: No madam! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Mary: My mother will not allow me to go so far!
I’ve never understood why women love cats.
Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man they love in a cat.
What did the blanket say to the bed?
Don't worry Ive got you covered!
When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."
How do elephants hide in the jungle?
Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries!
What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
Monkeys eating cherries...
Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars.
But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
Vote:
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
Vote:
Yo mama is so stupid that she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.
Yo mama's so ugly that slender-man ran from her.
She's also the reason why slender-man doesn't have eyes.
A married couple has invoked the ghosts, after 15 minutes of invoking has appeared only the face of the grandmother of the man.
The married couple has asked the grandmother together: "What would you like to tell us dear granny? "
The granny has said: "I am looking forward to seeing you soon. Have a nice day!"