Before god said, "Let there be light," he asked Chuck Norris,"Can light let there be?"
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.
Q: What do you call a naked deer? A: Buck naked!
When do cannibals cook you? On Fried-days.
Q: What do Barbie and Paris Hilton have in common? A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.
The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.