Chuck Norris cleans his teeth with a dentists drill.
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
Did you find my horse well behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."
"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup."
Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
I hear you take milk baths.
That's right.
Why?
I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
What is a chameleon's motto?
A change is as good as a rest.
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest?
I don't know he is still busy.
What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?
The Lizard of Oz.