What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical? A: Fiddler on the hoof.
Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse. One says to the other, "I'll start at the head, you start at the feet." They start to eat, and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, "Hey, how's it going?" The other replies, "I'm having a ball!" Getting mad, the one at the head yells, "Dammit, slow down, you're eating too fast!"
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!
Yo' Mama is so dumb, she got fired from a blow job.
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion? A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.