I went to the seaside yesterday and stopped at this stall with a sign which said "Lobster tails £1".
I gave the man the money and he said "Once upon a time there was a lobster..."
My dick is too long and it causes some problems for me.
On the other day when I with my girlfriend went to cinema suddenly I had an erection so that the shadow of my penis was reflected on the screen.
Somebody from the corner shouted: "Mr bald sit down please we want to see the movie!"
Vote:
A Jewish man is walking on the beach when he discovers a bottle containing genie.
He rubs it and a genie comes out, promises to grant him one wish.
He says, "Peace in the Middle east, that's my wish."
The genie looks concerned, then says "No, I'm sorry, that's just not possible.
Some things just can't be changed.
Do you have another wish?"
The guys says 'Well...for my whole life I've never receievd oral sex from my wife.
That would be my wish."
The genie pauses for another moment and then says "How would you define peace?"
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his dick, the one i sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the shit I'd be in.
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu.
No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
Vote:
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.
Vote:
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean?
*Pulls his head to her thigh*
Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
Q. What's the king of the pencil case?
A. The ruler.