What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher?
Ground round.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Roast Moosmallows.
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up.
The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says "I found them.
I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station.
The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here!
I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time.
Today I am taking them to the beach."
Q: Which side of a deer has the most meat?
A: The inside.
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence?
A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
Chuck Norris can fire Vince McMahon.
Vote:
A kid asks his father:
Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed?
Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.
Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face?
A: It will kick off your ladder…
Doctor: "Yes, what is it I can do for you?"
Blond: "Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?"
Doctor: "The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is."