Best jokes ever

Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, disgusting, sex
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave.
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer
Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: men
A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter. "That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor. "Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked, the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned. He returned to the store shortly. "Ah-ha!" said the proprietor. "You've come back for the story, right?" "Nope," said the man. "You have any brass lawyers?"
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
This bartender is in a bar, when this really hot chick walks up and says in a sexy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?" He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?" She replies, "I don't know if your the man to talk to...its kind of personal..." Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, miss." She then looks at him with a smile, and puts two of her fingers in his mouth...and he begins sucking them, thinking "I'm in!!!" She goes, "Can you give the manager something for me?" The bartender nods...yes. "Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
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has 59.78 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish
As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home. Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions. Mama tells Marol, "You have any a problem, you come and see Mama." Later, Marol's husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps up, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!" Mama reassures Marol, "Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." But when Marol's husband takes off his belt, she goes jumps up again, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!" Mama reassures her, "He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." Finally, Marol's husband takes off his shoes. Due to a terrible childhood accident, he only has half of his right foot. Marol jumps up and runs back to her mother's room, shouting, "Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!" Her mother gets up and announces, "Stand back, Marol this is a job for Mama!"
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has 59.78 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: family, marriage, sex, wedding
Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
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has 59.76 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
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has 59.76 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions? Crime fighter.
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has 59.75 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, racist, women
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