Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse. One says to the other, "I'll start at the head, you start at the feet." They start to eat, and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, "Hey, how's it going?" The other replies, "I'm having a ball!" Getting mad, the one at the head yells, "Dammit, slow down, you're eating too fast!"
The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.
What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
What is a man's idea of helping with housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I ll get you next slime.
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
Yo' Mama is like a postage stamp: you lick, you stick, you send her away.
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!