Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?
He was always standing up on the job!
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully!
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: “I come home to find all my possessions stolen.
I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!”
An investment advisor decided to go out on her own.
She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel.
The investment banker began to interview young lawyers.
"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question."
She leaned forward.
"Mr. Mayberry, are you an honest lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect.
"Let me tell you something about honest.
Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."
"Impresive.
And what sort of case was that?" asked the investment advisor.
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."
What is a man's definition of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
Which rabbit was in Western movies?
Hopalong Cassidy.
What's black and white, stinks and hangs from a line?
A drip dry skunk.
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!
Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
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