Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex?
A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.
Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women?
A: men have an antenna!
Vote:
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
Q: How do Asians get their name?
A: They throw a pan down the hall and listen to the noise.
Example: Dong Ching Lau.
Wanna know Victoria's Secret?
She has a penis.
There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building.
Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight.
So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat".
To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
A father went to take his daughter from school.
While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!"
"With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her.
"Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture.
And Won.
Vote:
Recently, I've been using the Bible for support.
I've got a wobbly coffee table.