The hardest known subsatance in the universe is Chuck Norris's will.
Vote:
What's the difference between a tiger and a lion?
A tiger has the mane part missing.
You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
A man is in a mall and sees a clothes store.
He sees a magnificent, brand new jacket in the shop window and decides he shall try it on and buy it.
So he walks into the shop and asks an employee: "Excuse me sir."
"How can I help you" the employee replies.
"Could I by any chance try on that jacket in your shop window?"
The employee looks at him and says "No you shall not you are to try it on in the changing rooms like everybody else!"
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An elephant goes to a camel and says why have you got a pair of tits on your back, the camel then replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a dartboard?
A: Yo' Mama's had more pricks.
Yo mama so old, she walked into a museum and found her ex.
Vote:
What does an octopus wear on a cold day?
A coat of arms.