How can you tell she's a macho women?
She rolls her own tampons.
'My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.''
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets?
Shoot the lawyer twice.
My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Show and smell.
Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face?
A: It will kick off your ladder…
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette look through a dictionary for the hardest words they know.
The brunette's word is "quizzical."
The redhead's word is "sardonic."
The blonde's word is "di*k."
Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch!
Vote:
Chuck Norris can fire Vince McMahon.
Vote:
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!