Jedis are now taught to use the "Chuck".
Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
"With great power comes a great beard!" - Chuck Norris.
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.
Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
Before god said, "Let there be light," he asked Chuck Norris,"Can light let there be?"
Two truck drivers trying to drive under a bridge. Driver, "Oh no, the height of bridge is 2.7m and our truck is 3m." 2nd driver, "it's ok, just go, there is no cops around."