A girlfriend said to me during sex that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!
Vote:
A father went to take his daughter from school.
While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!"
"With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her.
"Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
I got into an embarrassing situation at a swingers' party last night.
I snuck up behind an older lady, started fucking her from behind then looked up and suddenly realised that the guy at the other end of the spitroast, getting a blowjob, was my dad. I said, "After 30 years of marriage I can't believe you're being unfaithful to mum."
He said, "I'm not."
Vote:
What's lil Wayne's favorite kind of pizza?
Little Seizures.
What?
To soon?
What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper !
What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil?
Pre-tanned leather.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
Ground Beef.
What did one dairy cow say to another?
Got milk?
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?"
Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
What animals do you bring to bed?
Your calves.