If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-ass jeans.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.
Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.
Q: If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday, how does he do it? A: The horse's name is Friday!
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!