Yo momma so fat she could go to the desert and sells shade.
A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!
Yo Mama's so fat, she makes Johana Hill look superbad at gaining weight.
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
Yo' Mama is so old, her teeth are like stars: they come out at night.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses the refrigerator for her lunch box.
Q: Why do women pierce their bellybutton? A: Place to hang their air freshener.
The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken.