Yo Momma is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!
Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face? A: It will kick off your ladder…
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette look through a dictionary for the hardest words they know. The brunette's word is "quizzical." The redhead's word is "sardonic." The blonde's word is "di*k."
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? From crawling across the street when the sign said, "DON'T WALK."
Two blondes are nailing in roof tiles. One of them is pulling nails from his jar and if they face him, he throws them away. The other blonde asks what he's doing. "Duh. I'm throwing away the defective ones." "No, stupid! Those are for the other side of the roof."
Q: What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A: A tea party.
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
How can you tell she's a macho women? She rolls her own tampons.
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
Remember the Leia scene from The Last Jedi? That wasn't the force, it was Chuck Norris resurrecting Carrie Fischer.