Best jokes ever

Infinity mathematicians came to bar. First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter... The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
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has 59.12 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, math, nerd, vulgar
You might be a redneck if a police officer pulls you over to ask for your driver's license and your address is the county jail.
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: cop, driving, prison, redneck
The policeman tells Johny at the police station following: "The thief who wanted to steal your wallet has got: a broken nose, three broken ribs, a concussion of the brain and he misses a bunch of his hair at the back of his head."Please, tell me Johny, how much money did you have in your wallet?" Johny: "Only three euros." The policeman: "Goodness! I suppose that if you would have ten euros in your wallet, the thief would probably not survive your self-defense-trial."
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: cop, little Johnny, money
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, catholic, religious, time
Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Billy and Joe were huge baseball fans. One day, both Billy and Joe made a pact that if either of them were to die; they had to come back to the other in the form of a ghost to let the other know if baseball was played in heaven. Sure enough, Billy dies and eventually comes to Joe one night in the form of a ghost. A startled Joe realizes it is the ghost of his deceased friend and says "Billy, it is so good to see you...so tell me, is there baseball in Heaven?". "Well", Billy says, "I have some good news and bad news for ya. First the good news...YES, there is baseball in heaven!". "Thank God!" Joe shouts... "What is the bad news?!". "You're pitching tomorrow."
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: game, god, heaven, sport
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: time, wife, women
Why is it called PMS? — Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: How do Asians get their name? A: They throw a pan down the hall and listen to the noise. Example: Dong Ching Lau.
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has 59.08 % from 259 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
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