Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’
Boy: ‘I’m not.
I’m just holding it.
It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
Yo momma’s so ugly, they use her face as a cure for constipation.
What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men?
Their knees.
Yo mamma so fat the back of her neck looks like a 12 pack of hot dogs.
What is a man's idea of helping with housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
Yo mama's so fat, when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them.
An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunk guy and begins poking him in the shoulder.
The drunk guy just ignores him.
After a wile the guy turns to the alien and begins looking him up and down.
He notices that the alien has no genitalia.
He then asks "You guys have no genitalia, how do you guy have sex?"
The alien, still poking him in the arm, just smiles!
Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
Vote:
Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals?
A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher.
You'll never have to do it by hand again.
Vote: