Best jokes ever

I'm not racist, some of my best slaves are black.
Vote:
has 59.94 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same. Nature knows perfection when she sees it.
Vote:
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself? The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!" 2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened? I shot myself into my knee.
Vote:
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, medical, time, women
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She then explained that she was a physical therapist and offered to help ease his "pain." "Please allow me to help, I am a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!" She told him earnestly. "ohh No, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch. The woman takes it upon herself to begin to "ease his pain". She began to massage his groin. After a few moments she asked, "does that feel better?" The man looked up at her and replied, "yes, that feels pretty good ... but my thumb still hurts like hell!"
Vote:
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport, women
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Vote:
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: cop
Chuck Norris can hear pictures.
Vote:
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
I walked into the computer repair place with my broken Macintosh computer. I looked at the stack of them on the rack and said, ‘What’s that, Broke Mac Mountain?’
Vote:
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: IT
Q: Why did Hitler hate golf? A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
Vote:
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: golf, hipster
Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room? A: So she could use it as a mirror.
Vote:
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Yo mama so fat the only liquor she knows is liquorice.
Vote:
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: fat, stupid, Yo mama
<<<636637638639
More jokes →
Page 636 of 1428.