Why is a man different from a PC?
You only have to tell the PC once.
Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather?
A. Drizzle
Yo mama is so poor, I went to her place for dinner the other day, and when I asked what we were having, she put her foot up on the table and said "corn !".
Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth?
A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?
A chameleon on a tartan rug.
What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?
He stank to the bottom of the pool.
Does a dolphin ever do something by accident?
No, they do everything on porpoise.
Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?
He stung her into action.
What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths?
Lefty.
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette?
He didn't have enough money tabaccer!