What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted!
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus? A: Captain Squid.
When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.