What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?
A chameleon on a tartan rug.
What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?
He stank to the bottom of the pool.
Does a dolphin ever do something by accident?
No, they do everything on porpoise.
Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?
He stung her into action.
What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths?
Lefty.
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette?
He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
Finally, they discovered real cause of Bruce Lee's death – extreme exhaustion from fight with Chuck Norris.
Vote:
How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize?
Cause he was outstanding in his field.
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car.
Who's driving?
A cop!
Vote:
An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunk guy and begins poking him in the shoulder.
The drunk guy just ignores him.
After a wile the guy turns to the alien and begins looking him up and down.
He notices that the alien has no genitalia.
He then asks "You guys have no genitalia, how do you guy have sex?"
The alien, still poking him in the arm, just smiles!