Patient: "Doctor, I feel there are two of me."
Doctor: "Very well, I shall see you, one at a time."
A patient to his friend: "I am taking rest cure."
Friend: "What do you do?"
Patient: "I sit every day for three hours in the waiting room of a very busy doctor."
Yo mama so old her social security number is 3!
Why is a man different from a PC?
You only have to tell the PC once.
Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather?
A. Drizzle
Yo mama is so poor, I went to her place for dinner the other day, and when I asked what we were having, she put her foot up on the table and said "corn !".
Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.
Vote:
Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth?
A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
Vote:
Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals?
A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!