When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school. When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Once Chuck Norris attempted to punch through a brick wall, but the brick wall crumbled in fear.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.