When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school.
When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris can turn diamonds back into coal.
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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own.
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Dragons watch a movie called 'How to train your Chuck Norris.'
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Chuck Norris broke the world record for most punches in a minute with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can beat everyone.
Except for 1 person.
Chuck Norris.
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They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
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E=mc squared.
E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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