It was mealtime during a flight on Blonde Airlines. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Señor, I would like the worlds best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, "I?d like the best beer in the world, give me ? The King of Beers,? a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, "Id like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it. The guy from Molson sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why arent you drinking a Molsons?" The Molson president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys arent drinking beer, neither would I."
Q: The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I? A: footsteps
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown? A chameleon on a tartan rug.
First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way? Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house? The Lizard of Oz.
A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger! Beware of Dog’. He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor. ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper. ‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’
Our body cells renew while asleep. If only our wallets could do the same.