ChuckNorris.com. Don't go there. It's like the United States of Chuck Norris... No one has been there and lived to tell the tale.
Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
Doctor to woman: "What is the matter about your husband?" Woman: "He is worrying about MONEY." Doctor: "I think I can relieve him of that."
Chuck Norris doesn't vote. He elects!
A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped up about the Super Bowl. "It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?" "Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too," says the student. "Well, that's a lousy reason," says the teacher. "What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?" "Then I'd be a football fan."
After football fans in Philadelphia were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, "Everyone should call in and give one word for that game." "What's your word?" the host replied. "Bored out of my mind," said the caller.
Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers. The food cooks itself out of pressure.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."