A salesmen rang a house doorbell and it was answered by a kid wearing a top hat, a purple cape, smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of white wine. The salesmen asked: "Are your parents home?" The kid replied: "What does it look like?"
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.
Q: What do you call a pool full of black kids? A: Cocoa puffs.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
Q: How do you piss off a white person? A: Call him a racist.
Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."
Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
A young boy caught sight of his mother changing one day, and asked her what that was that she had between her legs. "That is something you're never going to talk about again. And you shouldn't touch it either, because it has teeth." Many years went by, and the boy never touched any girl in between her legs, because he was very scared. One day, however, he met the love of his life and, in time, they got married. On their wedding night, his wife asked him to touch her there. "No," he said, "it's got teeth." "Silly goose!" she said. She spread her legs wide for him to see. "See? No teeth!" "Well, I'm not surprised," the man said. "Not with gums like that."
Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
Q: What did the prositutes knee say to the other? A: Nothing. They have never met.