The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
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Nurse: "We need a stool sample and a urine sample."
Old man to his wife: "What did she say?"
Wife to husband: "They want your underwear."
Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband:
"So, how do I look?"
"Well, at least you tried..."
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
"Grandma, in the greengrocery they have that thick and that long cucumber."
Deaf grandma answers,"be sure he'll also marry you."
Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree.
That makes it a plant.
Therefore, chocolate is salad.
Happy Easter!
Q: How do Columbians develop muscle?
A: By pushing drugs.
What do your parents' car and testicles have in common?
Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Yo momma so black Batman came and said damn b*tch I thought I was the dark night.
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