Best jokes ever

What did the bee say to the flower? "Hi, honey."
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is the difference between a teenager on her rag and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, teen, terrorist
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. "What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
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has 59.08 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: marriage, romantic, Valentines day
My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile, and all I can think is "Wow that is a big word for a nine year old."
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has 59.05 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How do you piss off a white person? A: Call him a racist.
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has 59.03 % from 282 votes. More jokes about: racist, white people
Patient: "I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?" Doctor: "You’ve had an accident involving a bus." Patient: "What happened?" Doctor: "Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" Patient: "Give me the bad news first." Doctor: "Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them." Patient: "That’s terrible! What’s the good news?" Doctor: "There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers."
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has 58.99 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, hospital
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
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has 58.99 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: bird, dirty, food, kids
George meets a genie in the street, which tells him to make a wish and it will make it true. "I want to pee whiskey," he says. “But are you sure? You can ask for money, wealth, anything you want." "No I want to pee whiskey." The genie thinks what can it do, it makes his wish true. George goes home, calls his wife, Sue: "Woman, get nuts and two glasses." Curious she was, she brings them. "What do you want them? She asks him. Once we don’t have any drinks." From now on, we will both have as much whiskey as we want, says to her. And really he fills the two glasses with whiskey. They clink, drink one, drink two drinks, make some fun … and play a little game. The other night the same happen. "Woman, bring two glasses and nuts." So they spend their evenings. One night, however, the scene changed. "Woman, bring nuts and a cup." "A, for one?" "You will drink from the bottle today."
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has 58.99 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, game, money, women
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
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has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: game, money, women
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, catholic, religious, time
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