"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones. The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones." I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright. Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.
Yo mama teeth are so yellow when she smiles traffic slows down.
The first half of life if ruined by your parents, the second by your kids.
Why did the boy mouse like the girl mouse? They just seemed to click.
My mother-in- law is so cross-eyed, that when she cries the tears roll down her back!
In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry Ive got you covered!
How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower.