It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
(The Fast and The Furious)
It doesn't matter if you pass the semester by getting 40% or 95%.
Passing's passing.
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it.
He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted.
Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!"
His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible."
Joe finally agreed and took Ted along.
He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly.
He asked Ted, "Do you see it?"
Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!"
Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!"
Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes.
And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
Dear Facebook,
Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"
Let's walk and talk.
You go that way.
Vote:
Do you believe in love at first set?
Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?
Q: What's a blonde's favorite drink
A: A cocktail.
A patient at the dental office where I work stopped by my desk to pay her bill. She began rummaging through her purse, as so many patients do when they have a check to write. "Do you need a pen?" I asked, offering her mine.
"Yes, thank you," she replied. She took it, put it in her handbag, and proceeded to pay in cash.
Vote:
Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve?
A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer...and a mop.