I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
Q: What do you call an Asian family tree? A: A rice bush.
Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?" A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates A: Hugh Hefner.
Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time? A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
Q: If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday, how does he do it? A: The horse's name is Friday!
Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!