Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
"With great power comes a great beard!" - Chuck Norris.
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.
Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.
Before god said, "Let there be light," he asked Chuck Norris,"Can light let there be?"
Two truck drivers trying to drive under a bridge. Driver, "Oh no, the height of bridge is 2.7m and our truck is 3m." 2nd driver, "it's ok, just go, there is no cops around."
Q: What do you call a naked deer? A: Buck naked!
The July temperature in Joplin climbed over the one hundred mark. Despite the scorching heat, Bozell was outside painting his house. A passerby stopped for a moment to watch him and then asked, "How cum yer wearin' two jackets?" "'Cause," said the redneck, "the directions on the can say ta put on two coats!"