What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
Your mama so fat when she goes in Walmart and goes out it's gone.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put ice down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted!
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence.
The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
A kid asks his father: Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed? Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.