Best jokes ever

What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
Lion wakes up in the jungle and finds that a tool is missing, he goes to elephant and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Elephant replies: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Elephant: "Sorry, I haven't seen it, try mouse." So the Lion goes to the mouse and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Mouse: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Mouse: "Sorry mate, I've not seen it, try croc." So the lion proceeds to the crocodile and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Croc: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Croc: "Sorry I've not seen it, try Jaguar." So the lion goes to Jaguar and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Jaguar: "Of course, I ate it." Lion: "Why did you do that?" Jaguar: "Well I'm a four point tool eater Jaguar."
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: school
Chuck Norris can change the tire on a car while it's still moving.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car
Chuck Norris once walked into my house and I was fined for trespassing.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer, money
Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed? Yeah... now he has no ears.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, love, women
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.  Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?"  "Oh," replied Jim " at Yale." "That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men, school, work
A kid asks his father: Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed? Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
<<<678679680681
More jokes →
Page 678 of 1427.