What do you call Black people running down a hill? Jail break.
"Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!"
Q: Where do you find elves? A: Depends where you left them!
Yo momma's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?" A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"