One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac? A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
Chuck Norris went to school so he could be studied.
How do you make a snooker table laugh. Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.
You are so black when I clicked on your profile pic I thought my phone died.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put ice down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.
What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.