Best jokes ever

A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men
A blonde, brunette and a red-head were trapped on a island 20 miles from shore. The red-head started swimming and got tired after 2 miles and turned around and swam back. Then the brunette started to swim and after 7 miles of swimming she turned back. The blonde jumped in and swam 17 miles got tired and turned back.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?" Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: computer, internet, sport, student, teacher
What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have? One that never misses a period.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me." A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men
One of Hitler's assistants says to him one day, "Sir, we're mining too many useless ores." Hitler replies, "Well, mine less." A grammar nazi then bursts through the door and shouts, "Mine FEWER!" Hitler looks up and asks, "Yes?"
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has 62.98 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: Hitler
There are three types of sex in a marriage. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when you are newlyweds, and you're still having fun, so you do it anywhere, anytime - but mostly the kitchen. The second type is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have settled down a bit and probably have kids, so you can't do it anywhere except the bedroom. The third type of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you pass each other in the hall and say, "Screw you." But there's also a fourth kind called Courtroom Sex. This is when you are getting a divorce and you try to screw each other in public.
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has 62.98 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex
Yo mama so stupid, I said, "Why do you have 2 quarters in your ears?" And she said, "I am listening to 50 cent."
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has 62.93 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: insulting, music, stupid, Yo mama
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow alcohol. 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care. 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 11. It makes fellow employees look better. 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
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has 62.93 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, holiday, money, winter, work
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