Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
The first half of life if ruined by your parents, the second by your kids.
Why did the boy mouse like the girl mouse? They just seemed to click.
Yo mama teeth are so yellow when she smiles traffic slows down.
What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry Ive got you covered!
How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower.
Overheard in a restaurant: She: "This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste." He: "Are you describing the wine or your mother?"
Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac? A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.