Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
"Didja hear the news?" asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon.
"Harrigan drank so much, his wife left him!"
"Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!"
We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies.
We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut.
After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head.
"How you like it?" asked the barber.
"Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"
Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
Yo mama so fat when they took pictures of Earth it looked like Earth had a pimple.
Yo Momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
Chuck Norris was a pokemon card, until they took it out of the market cause the Chuck Norris card was level infinity.