Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ?
A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
Vote:
What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs?
He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.
Q: What do you call a group of black people.
A: An auction.
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Boy: "Do you like parties?"
Girl: "Yes, why?"
Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
Officer: "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia."
Man: "No wait! I can explain everything!"
Babe when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that ass up one more time!
Q: What kind of music do elves like best?
A: "Wrap" music!
What did the light bulb say to the switch?
You turn me on.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?
A: Why, shortbread of course!