Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can change the tire on a car while it's still moving.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car
Your mama so fat when she goes in Walmart and goes out it's gone.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
The newest therapy for healing the states of depression is so-called decapitation. It costs only 100 dollars but 50 dollars pays the health insurance company. The operation will be made only once and you will never feel depressive. I had also luck and I also gave an order to this kind of therapy. I wish well to myself.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: health, money
Teacher: To which family does the elephant belong? Pupil: I don’t know, nobody I know owns one!
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: school
Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: school
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer, money
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.  Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?"  "Oh," replied Jim " at Yale." "That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men, school, work
A kid asks his father: Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed? Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
<<<677678679680
More jokes →
Page 677 of 1427.