Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris went to the sun and spent two nights.
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What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
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No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris. But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...
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Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
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Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
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What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
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Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?  A: Gifted!
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Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
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Yo mama's so fat when people look at her they instantly got cancer and type two diabetes
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