Best jokes ever

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He decided to stick it out for one more year!
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More jokes about: old people
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
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More jokes about: animal
Little Johnny asks his mum, "Mum, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time in a faraway land'?"  "No darling," says his mother, somewhat distressed, "Sometimes, they can begin with 'I've got too much work in the office tonight, I'll come home later'."
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A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
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More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
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Yo Mama is so nasty, she made the Dead Sea, when went to swim.
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More jokes about: Yo mama
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a Nintendo GameCube and turned it into a Gameboy.
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More jokes about: fat, game, Yo mama
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
Yo momma so poor... Burglars break into yo momma's home and leave money.
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John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
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More jokes about: anniversary, car, divorce, men, wife