Boy: "Do you like parties?"
Girl: "Yes, why?"
Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
Babe when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that ass up one more time!
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
Vote:
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Question: Why do men fart more than women?
Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
There was a boy watching tv with his parents.
A sex scene comes on.
The boy asks what the people are doing.
The mom said "they were just making a cake."
The boy goes"oh yea, I saw u and daddy making a cake yesterday and I Licked up all the icing."
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because his teacher said, it was a peace of cake.
Q: What did the prick say to the balls?
A: You guys hang around here while I go inside!
Comebacks to that all time favorite question "Why Aren't You Married Yet?"
1. You haven't asked yet.
2. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
3. Because I just love hearing this question.
4. Just lucky, I guess.
5. It gives my mother something to live for.
6. My fiancé is awaiting his/her parole.
7. I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
8. Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
9. I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
10. It didn't seem worth a blood test.
11. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
12. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
13. My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.
14. I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
15. They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
16. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
17. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.
18. What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?
19. I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
20. Why aren't you thin?
21. I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
22. (Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.