What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs?
He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.
Mom! I'm a 3D printer!
Oh come on, Tommy, close the door when you poop.
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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?
"I set WHO free?"
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Officer: "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia."
Man: "No wait! I can explain everything!"
Boy: "Do you like parties?"
Girl: "Yes, why?"
Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
Babe when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that ass up one more time!
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
There was a boy watching tv with his parents.
A sex scene comes on.
The boy asks what the people are doing.
The mom said "they were just making a cake."
The boy goes"oh yea, I saw u and daddy making a cake yesterday and I Licked up all the icing."