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Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room. Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
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Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
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Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show? A: The feather forecast!
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What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands.
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Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.
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Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
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Yo mama is so dirty when she jumped in the bath water the water jumped out and said "No I'm good."
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Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
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In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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A couple in their nineties were having trouble remembering things so they went to their doctor for checkups. The doctor told them that they were both physically fine and advised them to write things down to help them remember. Later that evening while watching television, the husband got up from his chair to go to the kitchen for a snack. He asked his wife if she wanted anything. “Could you bring me a bowl of ice cream?” she asked. “Sure,” he replied. “Do you think you should write that down to remember it?” she asked. “No, I can remember that,” he said. “I’d like some strawberries on it, too. Do you need to write that down?” she said. “No, I can remember that, too. Ice cream with strawberries,” he said, becoming a little irritated. “I’d like some whipped cream on it, too. Can you remember all that? The doctor said you should write things down,” she said. “For goodness sakes, I can remember that. I don’t need to write it down. A bowl of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream,” he said, now more than a little irritated. Off he went to the kitchen. About 20 minutes later he returned with a plate of bacon and eggs. The wife stared at it for a moment and said, “Where’s my toast?”
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