Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris went to the sun and spent two nights.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris. But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...
Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted!
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
Yo mama's so fat when people look at her they instantly got cancer and type two diabetes
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