Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle.
"I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk.
The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
Vote:
Yo momma is so ugly that Superman lost his supervision and went blind.
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on a rainbow she made Skittles!
Mother: "Why was the phone busy all night?"
Babysitter: "The fire department put me on hold."
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
Vote:
Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
Because their horns don't work.
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
An exhausted hunter out in the woods stumbled across another hunter.
Hunter 1: "Am I glad to see you, I've been lost for three days."
Hunter 2: "Don't get too excited, friend, I've been lost for three weeks."
Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
A: Invite an accountant.
Vote:
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA?
A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.