Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A:Because you can't drink and derive...
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought the international dateline was a global dating service.
Q: What is a Democratic Free Market? A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language. My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.
Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies? A: Taking them out with pitchforks.