What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
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Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
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When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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What's a cow's favorite moosical note?
Beef-flat!
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
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Chuck Norris once walked into my house and I was fined for trespassing.
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Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
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Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
A: You wake up wet!
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Q: Why is divorce so costly?
A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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