The husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet the wife stayed by his bedside every single day.
When he came back to his senses, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business fell, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you gave me support.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side.
When I think about it now. ....I think you bring me bad luck!"
Chuck Norris once spelled the entire alphabet using only M&Ms.
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What did the black kid get for Christmas?
YOUR BIKE!
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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
What’s the difference between a bar and a g-spot?
Most men have no trouble finding a bar.
Infinity mathematicians came to bar.
First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter...
The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
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Yo mama told me that she had some wrinkles in her feet ; I suggested to wear stocking.
She said : "Woo it is 50 years that I am wearing pants the chink of her ass hadn't been recovery!"
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Q: Why is divorce so costly?
A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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