The husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet the wife stayed by his bedside every single day.
When he came back to his senses, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business fell, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you gave me support.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side.
When I think about it now. ....I think you bring me bad luck!"
Chuck Norris once spelled the entire alphabet using only M&Ms.
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What did the black kid get for Christmas?
YOUR BIKE!
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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
What do you call one black on the moon? Problem.
What do you call ten blacks on the moon? Problems.
What do you call the entire black population on the moon? Problem solved.
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What’s the difference between a bar and a g-spot?
Most men have no trouble finding a bar.
Infinity mathematicians came to bar.
First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter...
The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
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