Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
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A Russian guy comes across a bottle of vodka on the street.
He picks it up and a genie comes out, "You are my master. You now have one wish."
The Russian man says, "I would like to piss vodka."
When the he gets home, he tells his wife to get two glasses.
She asks what they'll be drinking.
He tells her he can piss vodka and demonstrates for her.
It was the best vodka they'd ever had.
The next night the Russian guy comes home tired and tells his wife to get one glass.
She asks, "Why only one glass?"
"Because tonight," he says, "you should drink from the bottle."
He came into my room late at night.
He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left.
It was terrible.
It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!
If you go on google and type find Chuck Norris then click I'm feelin lucky...run
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Q:Where does a mexican shop for books?
A: Borders
A: What does "IDK" mean?
B: I don't know.
A: Ugh! Nobody does!
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night.
After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?”
The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Why did the pervert cross the road?
Because he was stuck in the chicken.
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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Yo mama told me that she had some wrinkles in her feet ; I suggested to wear stocking.
She said : "Woo it is 50 years that I am wearing pants the chink of her ass hadn't been recovery!"
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