Best jokes ever

Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference. Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius." Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!" Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..." Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: phone, technology, winter, work
Poor Mac was having a bad time finding work. He was very overweight and it seemed to turn employers away. rnrnFinally, he found a job driving the tour bus on the Sesame Street studio. He was instructed to ask the names of the boarding passengers so he could personally address them as he gave the spoken tour while driving.rnrnIt was his first day. He sat patiently at the stop waiting for his passengers when he watched a huge fat lady waddle up to the bus. He asked her name as she boarded, and she responded Patty. Welcome aboard, Patty. Have a seat and we will be off soon. rnrnHe was startled when and equally large fellow approached. Again, he asked the name and the response was Patty O'Brien with a thick Irish brogue. Welcome aboard, Patty. Have a seat and we will be off soon. rnrnJust after the two Pattys had selected their seats, a shy looking small boy came up and asked if he could go. Sure son, come on in. What's your name? The boy responded Ross. It sounded like Ross might have some special problem but he seemed OK. rnrnThere were not many others around, so Mac was thinking he might not have anyone else join in. He was about to drive off when a creepy fellow came running up and asked to go along. Sure, come on in. We are about to go. What's your name? Lester was the response. Have a seat Lester. We are just about to go.rnrnAs he drove off to begin the tour, he glanced in the mirror to look at the passengers. Lester had removed his shoe and was picking at something on his foot. The vision made Big Mac laugh so hard he had to stop for a minute. rnrnHe was thinking who would believe this? Here I am with two big Pattys, a special Ross, and a creep named Lester picking bunions on a Sesame Street Bus?
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: communication, driving, life, travel, work
Q: What did the cannibal do once he dumped his lady friend? A: He wiped his bottom.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: black humor, friendship
An exhausted hunter out in the woods stumbled across another hunter. Hunter 1: "Am I glad to see you, I've been lost for three days." Hunter 2: "Don't get too excited, friend, I've been lost for three weeks."
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: hunting, men
The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: kids, tax
Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, Chuck Norris
Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo momma is so ugly that Superman lost his supervision and went blind.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: health, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on a rainbow she made Skittles!
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Mother: "Why was the phone busy all night?" Babysitter: "The fire department put me on hold."
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: communication, phone, work
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