Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible.
He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
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A reporter outside of a courtroom asked a defendant clad only in a barrel: “Oh, I see your attorney lost the case!”
The defendant answered, “No, we won.”
What does a man call true love?
An erection.
Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away.
Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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My Prediction for the Mayweather Mcgregor fight.
It becomes a Handicap Match against Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris ends it with a single roundhouse kick before the bell stops ringing.
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What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?
A hermit crab.
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini?
A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.