Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
A reporter outside of a courtroom asked a defendant clad only in a barrel: “Oh, I see your attorney lost the case!” The defendant answered, “No, we won.”
What does a man call true love? An erection.
Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away.
Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
My Prediction for the Mayweather Mcgregor fight. It becomes a Handicap Match against Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris ends it with a single roundhouse kick before the bell stops ringing.
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini? A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.