Best jokes ever

Yo mama so ugly she made santa say ho ho ho.
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has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Santa, ugly, Yo mama
Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
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has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A Russian guy comes across a bottle of vodka on the street. He picks it up and a genie comes out, "You are my master. You now have one wish." The Russian man says, "I would like to piss vodka." When the he gets home, he tells his wife to get two glasses. She asks what they'll be drinking. He tells her he can piss vodka and demonstrates for her. It was the best vodka they'd ever had. The next night the Russian guy comes home tired and tells his wife to get one glass. She asks, "Why only one glass?" "Because tonight," he says, "you should drink from the bottle."
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has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife
An Australian Combat Field Engineer Sergeant and a U.S Marine were on exchange duty and were sharing the latrines. The Aussie Sergeant finished first and walked out without washing his hands. The U.S Marine watched in disgust, finished his squirt, washed his hands and walked up to the Aussie Sergeant and said. In the U.S Marine Corps we were taught to wash our hands after a leak”. The rather large Aussie Sergeant replied, ” In the Australian Army mate, we were taught not to piss on our hands …! ”
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has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: military
Air Force Approach: "Eagle 13, turn right to 330." Eagle 13: "Roger 330." App: "Eagle 13, I've been working since last night, Will you do me a favor?" Eagle 13: "Affirmative. Go ahead." App: "Down below on your right, you'll see a base house with yellow roof near the lake. That is my house. I had a fight with my Wife, and I'm worried she might take it out on my Harley. Do you see a Harley Davidson near the house?" Eagle 13: "Negative sir. Instead I can see a Ryder's truck."
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has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: air force, marriage, wife
He came into my room late at night. He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left. It was terrible. It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!
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has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty
If you go on google and type find Chuck Norris then click I'm feelin lucky...run
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has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
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has 58.00 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, women
A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes.
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has 58.00 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: cop, dog
Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he was stuck in the chicken.
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has 58.00 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: sex
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