God made everyone different he got tired when he made china.
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?"
A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?"
"No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?
A book has papers.
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up.
The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says "I found them.
I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station.
The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here!
I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time.
Today I am taking them to the beach."
Games for when we are older:
1) Sag, You're it.
2) Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
3) 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4) Kick the bucket.
5) Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6) Doc Doc Goose.
7) Simon says something incoherent.
8) Hide and go pee.
9) Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
10) Musical recliners.
Vote:
What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Show and smell.
The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
Vote:
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee.
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
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