Chuck Norris can make a robot bleed.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke?
A: Your mom can't take a joke.
Me: "Here comes the airplane!"
Baby: Opens mouth.
Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
Vote:
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies?
A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
Vote:
What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?
A book has papers.
Why are niggers like sperm?
Only 1 in a Million actually works.
Vote:
Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.
Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush.
Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit.
Friend: Ok I can see it...
Me: She walks into your room and you're just sitting there.
Friend: Uh-huh.. I'm likin' this.
Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her pants off.
She's not wearing any underwear.. And then she sits on you.
Friend: Oh-ho-hoo.. Whatta' naughty girl.
Me: Yeah, ok. Don't get dirty on me. So she's sitting on you.
And then... she starting shitting in you.
Right then and there, you find out you're a toilet.
Friend: I hate you...
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Make choking noises...