Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? He's down to four butts a day.
"Grandma, in the greengrocery they have that thick and that long cucumber." Deaf grandma answers,"be sure he'll also marry you."
Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers. The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes." The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, "Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?" Little Johnny smiles proudly, "No Miss, there's no need, my mom cooks really well."
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
A nigger and a spic fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The spic, the nigger never makes it because he's stopped by the rope.
Chuck norris was born on May 6 1945. De Nazi surrenderd on May 7 1945.
Why were so many niggers killed in the Vietnam war? Because when the sergeant said to "get down", they all got up and started dancing.