If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.
Why was the picture sent to jail? It was framed.
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" No. The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck." The farmer shot Chuck.
Why were so many niggers killed in the Vietnam war? Because when the sergeant said to "get down", they all got up and started dancing.
Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pothole? A: You swerve around the pothole.
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax? A: After it reaches 95%
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
Why are guys like microwavable meals? They’re both done in 30 seconds.
Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers. The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes." The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.