Best jokes ever

I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight... But honey, what about our kid? What kid? So you are not you pregnant?!
Vote: has 60.84 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, women
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
Vote: has 60.84 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, sex
What has more brains than a dead baby? The wall behind it.
Vote: has 60.84 % from 139 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
What do you call men who use the pull out method? Fathers.
Vote: has 60.76 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, IT, life
What do nigger pimps and farmers have in common? They both need a hoe to stay in business!
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More jokes about: business, racist
It gives me a solution to this whole inner city gang problem that we seem to be having. I just got to get some people behind me, right? I think we need about 20 or 25 grandmothers, give them all belts and do one big drive-by whupping on these kids.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, kids
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
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More jokes about: death, men, military, women
Q:What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work. The philosopher can do without the trash bin.
Vote: has 60.73 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
Vote: has 60.73 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax