A blonde goes to the doctor with both of her ears and her right hand are burned. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor. "I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear." "What about the other ear and your hand?" "I tried to call for an ambulance."
Your moma is so ugly...she could make medicine sick!
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
Bill and Earl are out playing golf. They get to the 17th tee, which overlooks a small lake, and see two guys out on the lake fishing. Bill says, "Hey Earl check out these two idiots fishing' in the rain!"
How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.
Yo mama so poor the i saw her rolling a can and said what are you doing she said moving!
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses the refrigerator for her lunch box.
Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island? A: He wanted maximum isolation.
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? From crawling across the street when the sign said, "DON'T WALK."