While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did. I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said; "See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them." I replied, "Yes." "Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."
The dinosaurs aren't extinct. They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris terrorizes terrorism.
Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
Q: How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea? A: Inflate it.
Death has a shadow... Chuck Norris
Yo' Mama is so skanky, she can make out with a toothpick in her mouth.