Best jokes ever

Yo momma’s so ugly, if you look up ‘ugly’ in the dictionary, there’s a picture of her.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster? A cock that stays up all night.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look." He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: history, sport
Chuck Norris can shoot around a corner.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo mama so poor, when she found a penny she thought she had hit the lottery.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, Yo mama
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he opened the door a truck came roaring past and completely tore off the driver’s door of the Lexus. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911. When a policeman arrived, the lawyer was still screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again. After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his head in disgust. "I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Didn’t you notice that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." The lawyer looked down to his left side and let out a terrible scream: "Oh my God!… MY ROLEX!"
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, god, lawyer, phone
An elephant goes to a camel and says why have you got a pair of tits on your back, the camel then replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, elephant
An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup. A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?" And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?" And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, jewish, money
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?” said the officer. “I’m going to a lecture.” the man said. “And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?” the cop asked. “My wife.” said the man.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop