Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
Chick Norris has never pooped because nothing scares the shot out of Chuck Norris.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee.
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
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What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
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Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
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When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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