Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her mouth is like an Almond Joy bar full of nuts.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?" The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through." He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that! Shame on you!" The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole. Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.
Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex? To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.
Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? A: Have an ice day!
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.