Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
During her company's periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password: GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinniePhoenix When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said, "The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."
If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he entered a pool bombing competition. This place now widely known as the Niagara Falls.
The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.
What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud.
What do you call a dumb bunny? A hare brain.
Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
What do you call a rabbit that plays with foxes? A dumb bunny.