Without you I can't breath.
I love you so much my nose.
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds.
One of the boys said, "What is that?"
"They're smart pills," said the other boy.
"Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap."
"See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
Vote:
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week?
Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
Vote:
The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.
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Chuck Norris once threw a pebble.
We now call it...Hayley's Comet.
Vote:
Q: What is fast and crunchy?
A: A rocket chip.
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If your girlfriend never makes you angry, she is fake. A real one acts like an evil spirit.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she not only got hit with the ugly stick, she must have got lost in an ugly forest.
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A Saddle Light Dish.