Best jokes ever

A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?” “Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.” “Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food, health, hospital
Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, dentist, stupid
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, drug, kids
Q: What do you call a blonde chick standing on her head? A: A brunette.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, women
Your mama so dumb she thought the shoes Vans are actually vans.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, Halloween
A blonde, brunette and a red-head were trapped on a island 20 miles from shore. The red-head started swimming and got tired after 2 miles and turned around and swam back. Then the brunette started to swim and after 7 miles of swimming she turned back. The blonde jumped in and swam 17 miles got tired and turned back.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Do you believe in love at first set? Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fitness, flirt, love
What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have? One that never misses a period.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde