How do you keep a blonde busy all day? Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
What does a man call true love? An erection.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first? The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull.
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath? A little bear.
Yo' Mama is so dirty, roaches check into her laundry basket, but they don't check out.
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini? A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.