Yo Mama so old...
She sat in front of Jesus in 1st grade.
Your momma so fat...
When she crosses the street, cars look out for yo momma.
Men are like a fine wine.
They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
Q: How did the blonde die at the baseball game?
A: She drowned during the wave.
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries."
The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it, and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
‘Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.’
Spike Milligan
Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget?
A: Wow! Your hair smells good!
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Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
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