Best jokes ever

Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat
Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man. When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: school
If you really want to loosen your pectineus, you should skip the squats and let me stretch them out.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: fitness, flirt
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "hey, will you give me a free beer if I show you something amazing you've never seen before?" The bartender says, "sure, but it'd better be good." The man reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He sets the hamster down on the bar, and the hamster runs along the bar, jumps off the end, turns a somersault in midair and lands on the piano. He the proceeds to play the piano beautifully. The bartender says, "Wow! That was incredible! Have a beer." The man finishes his beer and says to the bartender, "hey, if I show you something else amazing that you've never seen before, will you give me another free beer?" "If it's as amazing as the hamster, sure," the bartender replies. So the man reaches back into his coat pocket, and pulls out a frog. He sets the frog down on the bar, and the frog begins to sing beautifully. The bartender is again amazed, and gets the man another beer. As the man is drinking his beer, another man rushes over and says "Holy shit, a singing frog! I'll give you $200 for that frog." The first man says "Deal!" and sells him the frog. The bartender walks over and says, "not that it's my business, but that was a singing frog, for heaven's sake. Why would you sell it for only $200? You could have made millions off of it." The man says, "nah, don't worry. The hamster's also a ventriloquist."
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, money
How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret? They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, IT, life, phone
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
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